Last night I didn't sleep well. I kept waking up - on alert - ready to fix things - for my mother, for my d-i-l. There was nothing for me to fix. Nothing I could control. Nothing I could help with. My "fight or flight" signal never seemed to switch off.
Today I feel hung over and headachy. My number this morning was decent, just a little high, and considering all the eating I did every time I woke up and circled the house, I'm lucky it wasn't through the roof.
To top that off, I just found out about the Costco/Frozen Berries with the Hep A warning. I've been consuming a lot of those in smoothies lately. I emailed the doctor. I have an appointment scheduled for the end of the month anyway so we'll see what he has to say about that.
I need another disease like an extra _________ (has to do with removal of body waste).
I called my mother's best friend last night and gave her an update on my mother. She cried. I didn't. Today I am weepy. I facebooked my ex-husband to tell him and I shared it with the friends I had grown up with that had known my mother either in person or through my stories and/or complaints.
I feel helpless. I want to hide away. To stay at home and not answer the phone or read my email. I want to wait until it is all over and I can come outside like nothing was every wrong.
That is what I want. What I am getting is "life" and all that that includes.
Today I feel hung over and headachy. My number this morning was decent, just a little high, and considering all the eating I did every time I woke up and circled the house, I'm lucky it wasn't through the roof.
To top that off, I just found out about the Costco/Frozen Berries with the Hep A warning. I've been consuming a lot of those in smoothies lately. I emailed the doctor. I have an appointment scheduled for the end of the month anyway so we'll see what he has to say about that.
I need another disease like an extra _________ (has to do with removal of body waste).
I called my mother's best friend last night and gave her an update on my mother. She cried. I didn't. Today I am weepy. I facebooked my ex-husband to tell him and I shared it with the friends I had grown up with that had known my mother either in person or through my stories and/or complaints.
I feel helpless. I want to hide away. To stay at home and not answer the phone or read my email. I want to wait until it is all over and I can come outside like nothing was every wrong.
That is what I want. What I am getting is "life" and all that that includes.
No comments:
Post a Comment